Home Sweet Home

Finally!! I got back to Chattanooga yesterday afternoon around 3 after a very long couple of days of traveling. I managed to stay awake until about 8pm last night and slept til 9 this morning, so no jet lag! It is so nice to be home, especially when the weather is sunny and warm, and friends are having cookouts (thanks Walker!). It was a very fun, very long month, and here are few things I have learned...

I was lucky enough to see some of the most beautiful places on earth - the Australian rainforest, Milford Sound, the mountains and lakes of New Zealand - but I have to say that middle and east Tennessee are still up there on the list of the earth's most beautiful (Sorry west TN. You're too flat)

A month of very little exercise coupled with lots of cocktails and fish n' chips will wreak havoc on your cardiovascular system.

Don't take ketchup for granted. They won't give you any in Australia or New Zealand, and if you ask for it they bring you "tomato sauce" which seems to be a squirt of ketchup mixed with a ton of water. When we had our 12 hour layover, we went to In N Out Burger, and I have never been more happy to see real ketchup in my life!

Make new friends in life, regardless of their age. As you know, I love BFF's Paul and Edna. I want to go visit them in San Diego. My other favorites were Buzz and Dorothy. Those two know how to have fun and enjoy life. Buzz is 77 and Dorothy is 73. He was a widower and she was a widow when they met at a funeral home (at a funeral for a friend - not one of their spouses). They got married 4 years ago and have a blast together. In Fiji, they would stay out late with Jake and me listening to the band, and they would be the first ones on the dance floor. They also have season tickets for Nebraska football and invited me to come to a game with them. I may have to take them up on that one.

Never take life for granted. If there is something you want to do whether it is take a vacation, find a new job, go back to school, take up a new hobby - whatever! Just go for it. In New Zealand, the person who bungee jumped after me was a 61 year old man who had terminal cancer. On our tour group there was a 41 year old woman who had an inoperable brain tumor, so she decided to go see the world. You never know what sort of curve ball life will throw at you, so live life to the fullest! I almost didn't go on this trip because I thought I needed to be at home looking for a job. After some thinking and some great advice from my self-appointed life guru Alvaro, I decided to take a couple of months to not worry about work and go have some fun. And I am so glad I did!

Be grateful for your blessings in life. I am so fortunate to have such a great and very generous dad who made this trip possible. He has taken me and my siblings on some awesome vacations. We are lucky kids, and we know it. I want to dedicate my blog to my dad, Michael E. Yes, I realize it is pretty cheap that he takes me on an amazing vacation on the other side of the world and I give him a free blog, but cut me some slack - I'm unemployed! Hopefully I will be able to return the favor someday by taking Dad back to Melbourne to see the Australian Open. So if anybody knows of a very high paying job with lots of vacation days, shoot me an email! Until the next adventure, peace out kids!

Tsunamis and sunburns

Our last night in Fiji we went to dinner with Paul and Edna and then tried to listen to the hotel band, but I lasted about 10 minutes. I think my body is slowing trying to switch me back to TN time, and being constantly on the go for 25 days was really wearing me down. So I went to bed at 10:30 and was out like a light until 7am. So at breakfast yesterday everybody is talking about the tsunami evacuation during the night. Ummmm... huh? Apparently there was a siren and an announcement telling everyone to get to the parking lot immediately. I didn't hear a thing. Dad and Jake were 2 doors down and also didn't hear a thing. Bill and Ida were in the room in between us and heard it, but opted to risk drowning in order to get some sleep. Paul and Edna took it seriously though. Edna woke up Paul, told him to grab his money and her ipod and went running to the parking lot. She has her priorities. Reason #356 that I love Paul and Edna.

So anyway, we didn't drown, but it was storming in the morning. So we just stayed at the unlimited mimosa breakfast until the sun came out. Then it was off to the pool! Since it was the last day and it would be most shameful to come home without a tan, I took it easy on the sunscreen and laid out all day. Our flight wasn't until 10pm, so I had no plans of getting out of the sun until it went down. When it did, I went back to the room to shower and pack. I thought I looked a little red, but not that bad. It wasn't until we all met up in the lobby to head to the airport that I looked in the mirror and realized I was so red I was actually purple. Fan-freakin'-tastic! It is always fun to get on a 10 hour flight with a bright shiny new sunburn!

So we got to the airport, got checked in, and said goodbye to our awesome Aussie Erica. We all went through security and thought we could go on to the gate like most normal airports. Not in Fiji! After we went through security we had to split off into 2 lines - one for men and one for women - so we could all get a thorough bag search and pat down. Seriously?? We just made it through security like 2 minutes ago. It took the boys a lot longer to get through with their friskings, so they were crying sexism. I told Paul they kept him for so long because when he was checking in he told the guy at the counter if he could get a window seat, that would be "the bomb." Edna looked horrified when he said it, and started into a long speech about how "the bomb" is a really cool slang expression and they should start using it in Fiji. Classic.

I guess it is better safe than sorry when it comes to security in airports, but in New Zealand I never once showed my passport, I got to take my bottled water through, never took off my shoes, and once didn't even go through any security at all. Jake said that Air New Zealand must have a really strict "no terrorist" policy. I guess that is working for them.

The flight wasn't nearly as bad as the one on the way to Sydney. It was about 5 hours shorter and since I was so tired (and loaded up on valium) I actually managed to sleep on and off for about 5 hours. Jake wasn't taking any chances, so he laid down in the floor at our feet and slept great for like 7 hours. Lucky weirdo. We landed at LAX at 1pm Cali time, and we don't fly out until midnight. Nothing like an 11 hour layover! So from here it is the red eye to Atlanta, a flight to Nashville, and then a 2 hour drive home to Chattanooga. God bless America!

Fiji!!

On Tuesday we took a 3 hour bus ride from Rotarua to Aukland. There are only 4 million people in New Zealand, and 1 million of those live in Aukland. I guess we didn’t find the party because we went to dinner, and Dad went to bed and Jake and I watched Pineapple Express (love it!). We pretty much just used Auklanad for its international airport to get to FIJI!! Woohoo! The plane ride was one of the bumpiest I have ever been on. So naturally, when the drink cart came around, Dad ordered a red wine. Just so you know, my dad needs to wear a poncho when he eats or drinks anything on the ground. So up in the air on a bumpy flight with him wearing a white sweatshirt and sitting next me in my off white fleece… let’s just say I was worried. But he was a champ! He waited until there was some smooth air and drank his wine in 2 gulps. It was a Fiji miracle! I was so proud it brought a tear to my eye. Of course, 2 minutes later he opened a packet clearly marked “sugar” thinking it was a wet napkin and sent sugar flying for about 3 rows. Still, it was better than being covered in shiraz.

We are staying at the Sofitel in Nadi, Fiji and it is amazing!!! If anybody is looking for a beach vacation and can stand a 14 hour flight from LAX, this place is so worth it! Yesterday we went out diving. I don’t know if I got off the dive boat in the middle of a school of razor blades or something, but I hadn’t gone down 15 feet before I had cuts all over my hands and arms. Not good, decent size cuts. Tiny little painful paper cuts. And then I got to soak in salt water for the next 45 minutes. Rockin’. I really have no idea how I got so cut up. I must have bumped into some coral or something, but I don’t remember it. Then again, we had unlimited mimosas at breakfast so anything is possible.

The dive was a wreck dive, and the dive master kept trying to get me to swim into the boat and come out on the other side. The visibility was really bad, and I could only see about a foot in front of me, so there was no way I was swimming inside a dark boat. I shook my head “no” at the dive master. He motioned for me 3 more times to swim through the boat and I just kept shaking my head “no.” Apparently he doesn’t know that is scuba speak for, “Hell no I’m not swimming through there you crazy Fiji SOB. But thanks for asking.” Dad kept thinking it was funny to throw stuff at me - like a giant sea sponge. I am the kind of diver who likes to look and not touch. I kept screaming underwater and wasting all my air. So after that, I skipped the second dive and opted to hang with BFFs Paul and Edna on the beach and drink beer. Dad said it was "the best dive ever" but I'm sure he was just saying that since I didn't go.

Last night there was a cava ceremony before dinner. Cava is some drink they have in Fiji that looks and tastes like mud, and it is supposed to have hallucinogenic effects. I was going to try it, but I'm looking for a job, and you never know when you might have to take a drug test. No telling what would show up in your system from that stuff. I wish I could find somebody to send me some this summer during Bonnaroo. Those dirty hippies would go crazy for that magical mud!

So the boys are off to play golf with all our pals from the tour, and I'm heading to breakfast to meet all the ladies for unlimited mimosas, laying at the pool, and the spa. I heart Fiji!

Spa Battle Royale

This morning we flew from Queenstown in the south island to Rotarua in the north island. There isn't a lot going on in Rotarua. It is known for its hot springs and being the home of the native people of New Zealand, the Maori. As soon as we landed, we got to go to a hot spring spa - supposedly the best one in the area!!! Dad wasn't too happy about it, since he agreed to it last night after a wine tasting, but I was pumped! So we pulled up to a spa called Hell's Gate. It looked like the entrance to a bar that would have been in the movie Roadhouse or something. A tad sketchy. So we went in and got our robes and they showed us to our massage rooms. You know how great the massage rooms are at the spas in America? All dark with a fluffy massage table, and candles and music? Yeah, not so much in New Zealand. It was a fluorescent lit room with thin plywood walls, and in the middle was a fold out massage table with towels on it. Score 1 Spa America.

But the massage itself was great. Much needed after lugging around a heavy backpack and a 50 pound suitcase for 3 weeks. And I didn't mind the way the room looked since my eyes were closed anyway. And being from a very large, very loud family, I could easily tune out all the stuff happening on the other side of the paper thin walls. Plus, after my massage I got to go hang out in the hot springs. And all of this was just $75 New Zealand, which is about $50 US. Not a bad deal if you ask me. Back home that package would be well over $100 plus tip. Being that my current job/ financial situation is less than ideal, I am sucker for a bargain. Score 1 Spa New Zealand.

So after the massage, I was excited about soaking in the hot springs. I got my bathing suit on and headed out. Before I got to the water, I noticed the smell. Oh hell no!! It was a hot sulphur spring! I got in it anyway, knowing I was going to have to wash my suit about 20 times to get the smell out. It felt really good though, and you got used to the smell. Still being interested in nothing but the massage and the overall cost, I declared victory to Spa New Zealand.

After the spa, we all met up in the hotel bar for happy hour before heading out to see a Maori cultural show. At the bar I ordered a beer and the bartender asked me if I had any ID. Say whaaat? I asked her, "How old do you have to be to drink in New Zealand?" She replied "18."Aaaahh yeeeaah, I am looking young today! I haven't been carded in the US in forever, and this was the first time on this trip I have been asked for ID. I was pumped!

So we headed out to the Maori cultural show, which was pretty much a second rate luau. But with less scenery, less sunny weather, and less booze at the bar. So it was kind of lame. The best part of the evening didn't come until I was in the line for the bathroom with a bunch of New Zealand girls who were probably in their early 20's. They liked my accent so they asked me where I was from. I told them, and they said "Oh that is great! Are you here on spring break?" Again, say whaaat? I haven't had a spring break in.... "Yes!! I am on spring break! I'm having a great time." Why not just go with it, you know? So then I started thinking, I haven't been mistaken for somebody that young since I WAS that young. I think that damn sulphur worked! It must be like a fountain of youth or something! I overturned the victory of Spa America and named Spa New Zealand the undefeated champion of the world!

Queenstown

We have been in Queenstown, New Zealand for a couple of days now. It is a really quaint little town, right on the lake with mountains everywhere. It is a very outdoorsy, and there are lots of hikers and backpackers in and out of town. Our first night here, we went to one of the local pubs for dinner. Our waitress was really nice, just talking away to us in her New Zealand accent. Then she asked where we were from, so we said Tennessee. She told us she was from Ohio and went to UT! How weird is that!? But even weirder, is that her New Zealand accent suddenly went away and she was as American as apple pie or Rickey Bobby. Maybe she thinks she will get better tips if she has a cool accent.

So yesterday we were free to do our own thing for a while. Then last night we took a boat to Walter Peak to have dinner and watch a sheep shearing show. We had a bottle of wine at dinner, and then Jake and I decided that watching sheep shearing would be way more fun with a cocktail. So we asked the shearer if we could take a roadie. After a brief education in what a roadie is, he was like, "Hell yeah you can!" I like the sheep shearer. His show was hilarious! He really needs to take his act on the road, but it would be pretty hard to do seeing as how he would have to travel with his sheep dog. And sheep. And farm. So yeah, that probably wouldn't work.

After the show we went inside to take our glasses back to the bar. We thought we had some time to wander around. I had been looking through my pictures and decided we didn't have enough action shots. So I decided that my new thing would be to jump in all my pictures (trust me - it seemed really funny after a few cocktails). So there are Jake and I trying like 20 times to get me jumping in front of the boat at the exact right time. In the midst of our awesome photography, we failed to notice that the boat was leaving us. Oops!! We ran over, and thankfully they were only a few feet away from the dock, so they backed up and got us. I told the boat guy, "Thank you! Don't tell my dad!" We looked up and Dad was standing on the top deck just shaking his head. We got the "Punctuality is a Virtue" speech for the millionth time. But the picture was still hilarious this morning, so it was worth it. I'm up in the air happy as can be, and the boat is taking off in the background. Trust me - it is a framer.

Today we took a 5 hour (yuck) bus ride to Milford Sound (beautiful!) for a 2 hour cruise. There were mile high mountains and waterfalls everywhere! I wasn't able to get great pictures though because of the Japanese. Now, no offense to my Japanese friends (wait - do I have any Japanese friends?? If I do, I apologize) but they will knock you to the ground, step on your face, and kick you in the teeth all in order to get 1 inch closer to something they want to take a picture of. When I was jumping off the bridge, Jake had 2 Japanese women literally jump on his back to get a picture. He almost went over the edge of the observation deck. So after sustaining a few war wounds and almost losing my camera over the edge of the boat, I decided to give up on the pictures and just enjoy the ride. Luckily, when Dad heard we could pay to take a puddle jumper plane back instead of sit on the bus for another 5 hours, he threw out that credit card faster than a Japanese person can go through a 2 gig camera card. Woo hoo! We were back in 40 minutes and got an amazing view of the Sound from up in the air. And I finally got some pictures without getting Kung Pow-ed in the face!

Riding on busses and jumping off bridges

Well, I got up this morning and got the paper to see my picture of the protestor published on page 2!! But my name wasn't published with it! Bastard reporter!! I did get an email from the paper that they noticed the omission and apologized. Not sure if my name will be in there tomorrow or not, but oh well. My awesome picture was in the paper in New Zealand!!

So we got on a bus today to make the trip from Christchurch down to Queenstown. It was a pretty uneventful trip. We stopped along the way to see some glacier lakes that were absolutely gorgeous. The water was an amazing color and they were surrounded by mountains. This country is so beautiful! My pictures really don't do it justice.

Once we got into Queenstown, our first stop was the Kawarau Bridge where bungee jumping was invented. We got to go out on the observation deck and watch a couple of jumpers. I asked Erica if I could maybe skip the boat ride tomorrow and come back to the bridge to jump. I wasn't 100% sure I really wanted to jump. I was just kind of thinking out loud. She said, "Let's go inside and see how long it would take. You can just go now!" Uuuuhhhh, say what?!? The people inside said I could be jumping in 10 minutes. The next thing you know, before I could say "suicide mission," I was handing over my AmEx card and signing away any rights to a lawsuit in the case of death or dismemberment. Dad was pissed and didn't want me to do it, but it was too late!

Literally 10 minutes later, I was bungee corded up and had my toes dangling over the edge of a 150 foot drop into the river. I looked over to the observation deck and saw all my peeps - Paul and Edna, Buzz and Dorothy, Bill and Ida. I couldn't let these people down. It had been a boring day, and they needed some excitement! The view from up there was amazing, but I couldn't look at any of it. I knew if I looked down I wouldn't be able to do it. So I looked straight ahead and asked the dude to push me. He said, "No can do" so I just dove headfirst without hesitating. I knew if I balked for one second it would not happen. I tried to scream on the way down, but my heart was in my throat as I saw rocks and river rushing toward me. Once the cord caught and I rebounded back up, I was finally able to scream - and enjoy the view! It was one of the most awesome experiences of my life!!

Once I got to the bottom, the raft picked me up and took me back to the dock. I got up to the top and the first thing Dad says to me is, "You didn't jump out far enough." Seriously Dad?!? I told him to go show me how it was done, but he politely declined. You got to jump for free if you were 65 and they didn't ask for ID. So he could have lied about his age and gone, but he was not even going to consider it. Also FYI for anyone who is making a trip to New Zealand - if you jump naked, you jump free! Here is the video...

My New Career - Journalism

We got up this morning and headed down to breakfast and got to hear everybody's stories of their home hosted dinners. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it, but BFF's Paul and Edna definitely had the best time. They decided to go in with "stories". So when their 85 year old host asked what they did for a living before they retired, Edna said she sold Amway and Paul said he was an interrogator for the government. Oh, how I love Paul and Edna. After breakfast we went for a bus tour of Christchurch. We went up to the top of cashmere mountain for an amazing view of the city. This place is absolutely beautiful!! Mountains, and farms, and ocean - it is really breathtaking! I can see why they filmed Lord of the Rings here - and why Dwight Schrute wants to travel here.

After our tour we were free for the day. So we found a little cafe to have lunch outside and then went "Punting on the Avon", or as I would call it, "Riding a Gondola in the River." I asked our punter whey they called it punting, but since he was just here on a 1 year visa from Argentina, he wasn't sure. He did tell us a great story about how he fell in before though.

From there we just wandered around. We saw the Arts Center and the History Museum. Then we decided to go into Christchurch Cathedral, which is a gorgeous church downtown. When we got in, there were people asking about doing the tower climb to the top to see the view. There was some confusion about it because, as the church guide was saying, there was a protestor who had locked himself on one of the balconies. There are 4 balconies up there, and they don't connect, so they decided to open the other 3 back up. The police had already been there, and the protestor wasn't coming down. They said there was nothing they could do until tomorrow afternoon. So we started the climb up a very, very long very, very spiraling staircase. When we finally got to the top, there were a couple of girls trying to get a glimpse of the protestor. But the door was locked and he had put up a piece of paper over the little glass part of the door so no one could see him. I decided to just talk to him...

So I said, "Hey. What are you doing out there" He said, "I'm having a good time!" I liked this. Why should a protest be unpleasant? So I said, "What are you protesting?" He replied, "The ACC." No idea. So I asked what the ACC is. My ignorance coupled with my obvious American accent caused him to ask if I was a tourist. So I said, "Yes, I'm from New York. I work for the New York Times. If you can let me have a picture of you I will send it to my editor and get you some press in the US." This peaked his interest, and he agreed to take off the paper for one quick photo. So he took off the paper and smiled really big, and I got my picture! Woo hoo!

When we got down the very very long staircase, Dad and Jake were telling the church guides that I had gotten a picture of the guy. They asked how, and I said I told him I worked for the New York Times. They were very impressed that I was a journalist for such a great paper. It wasn't until that point that I realized I went to the most famous church and New Zealand and flat out lied. Ummm.... oops?? I didn't bother to correct them and just went with it. Right about that time a reporter from the paper came in and the guides told him about my great photo. He asked to see it, so I showed it to him. Then he asked me how I got it, so I told him. Then he asked me to email it to him and he would put my name in the paper with the picture. SCORE!! I just hope he doesn't write the part about me working for the New York Times, because you can google that stuff, ya know??

When we got outside, we read the big banner the guy had hanging down. His website was www.screwedbyacc.co.nz (co not com). I only looked at it for a second, but it was funny. I like this dude

So anyway, I emailed the picture and the reporter emailed me back and said he would try to get the picture and name in the paper in the morning. I will post the link if it happens. If not, then with my crafty new skills, I'm going to be like BFF Paul and start a career in espionage